


love, and other volatile chemicals

by imposterhuman



Series: shield high school au [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Bets & Wagers, Explosions, Fluff, FrostIron - Freeform, M/M, Shipping, Teacher Loki (Marvel), Teacher Tony Stark, improper lab safety, shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 05:38:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16402325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: in which tony and loki are teachers, and no one can tell if they're together or notcue lots of bets!





	love, and other volatile chemicals

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first frostiron story, so let me know if i messed up horrendously with the characterization!
> 
> as usual, steve kinda gets the short end of the stick here. sorry steve (no im not).

Loki Laufeyson was in the middle of a lecture on nuclear decay when a (relatively small) explosion from the next classroom over knocked over the nested set of beakers on the edge of his desk, smashing the glass on the floor. Loki sighed tiredly and kept teaching. None of his students reacted, except the two on sweeping duty, who quietly came to sweep up the broken glass.

 

Explosions in the science wing were common with Tony Stark teaching physics and engineering, and, because Loki’s class happened to be right next door, he was often the receiver of several awkward apologies from a chagrined Stark.

 

How the man even made things explode in a  _ theoretical physics class _ , Loki was unsure. He was a chemistry teacher, working with volatile chemicals almost daily, and even  _ he  _ didn’t blow things up that often (if he had a suspiciously high rate of things catching on fire when he was angry, well, no one needed to know that). 

 

Almost as if summoned by Loki’s sigh, Tony popped his head in through the door. 

 

“Sorry, Lokes- shit, I mean, Mr. Laufeyson,” he corrected himself at Loki’s pointed glare at his class. The class, however, couldn't care less. They were used to the two teachers’ bizarre relationship. There were even bets going as to when they were going to go on a date, run by the psychology and human behavior teacher, Natasha Romanoff, and everyone in the school had an opinion on the pair.

 

“What was it this time, Stark?” Loki asked, a wry grin on his lips. “Class, do problems one through fifteen, ignore any fires that may occur in the near future.” The students laughed as Loki stepped into the hall, closing the door behind him.

 

“Can’t I just want to say hello to my dearest friend?” Tony said sweetly.

 

“Who are you trying to freak out, Banner or the new guy?” Loki asked knowingly. Bruce Banner was the biology teacher, and he had a notorious temper, but a ridiculous amount of control. It had been Tony’s goal since finding out  _ that  _ tidbit to see the good doctor angry. The new guy was one Steve Rogers, who got on Tony’s nerves immediately on his first day, by insulting Tony’s teaching style, credentials, and organization while wrapping it up in a way that sounded completely condescending and passive-aggressive (not that Loki had any bias in the situation at all). He was an art teacher, but the art wing was close enough that they would’ve felt the explosion. 

 

“New guy,” Tony grumbled. Loki supposed the explosions were SHS’s own form of hazing for the teachers; every new teacher got at least one Tony Stark Special when they started out, and the rest of the faculty would bet on their reactions. 

 

Loki had bet Rogers would come running with a fire extinguisher to Tony’s class, and he was not disappointed.

 

The blonde came panting down the hall, holding a bright red fire extinguisher. “Did you guys hear that?” He asked frantically. “What the hell was that?”   
  
Tony held up his hand faux-meekly while Loki tried to contain his laughter. “I might’ve accidentally caused a minor explosion,” he said. “Don’t worry, DUM-E already put out the fire.”

 

Steve looked confused. “Mr. Stark…“ he started, obviously thinking that  _ Loki  _ was DUM-E, and preparing to chew out Tony for being rude.

 

“Rogers, if I may,” Loki cut in, diffusing the growing tension as Tony caught on to Rogers’s thought process. “Tony means DUM-E, his helper bot. He isn't calling anyone but that metal monstrosity a dummy.”

 

Tony gasped. “You told him he was pretty!” he cried. “E tu, Brute?”

 

“He’s a metal grabber arm,” Loki deadpanned.

 

“He’s a  _ pretty  _ metal grabber arm.”

 

Steve looked back and forth between the pair as they played verbal tennis, looking very confused. “I’m just gonna… go back to my class now,” he said awkwardly, already walking away.

 

“You owe me,” Loki said gleefully once the man was out of sight. “I bet on the fire extinguisher, you bet yelling.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, rub it in, I’ll take you out to lunch,” Tony said. “Don’t you have a class tp get back to?”

 

Loki flipped him off and walked back into class, where his students were waiting to bombard him with questions (of which very few were chemistry related. Never let it be said that teenagers had no dedication.)

 

\-----

 

“So what’s up with Mr. Laufeyson and Mr. Stark?” Steve asked at lunch that day to the other teachers in the break room. Both Tony and Loki were absent, Tony having taken the other man out for his victory.

 

Clint Barton, a gym teacher and director of the archery club nodded sagely. “So, you’ve met our resident mischief makers,” he said. “Loki, or Mr. Laufeyson, I guess, is the name of the Norse god of chaos, and he lives up to it. Half of the explosions in that wing are him fucking with chemicals he shouldn't mess with, no matter how much he tries to pin all the blame with administration on Stark, because Loki is a petty bastard who still isn’t over Stark lighting his hair on fire that one time.”

 

James Rhodes, the ROTC leader, continued. “Tony, well, he’s a special one, that’s for sure. Man’s my best friend, and even I don’t know what’s in his head half the time. He’s a genius, probably the smartest person you’ll ever meet, but he’s scatterbrained and tends to forget things like lab safety. He’s a handful, that’s for sure, and he and Loki get up to the weirdest things. I swear, I caught them one time arming DUM-E with spitballs. The bot can’t even spit!”

 

Bruce Banner, the biology teacher, took over. “Nobody really knows what’s up with them, though. They’re either best friends, mortal enemies, dating, or some unholy combination of the three.”

 

“We have a bet running on it, actually. Nobody wins until we get irrefutable proof, of course,” the psych teacher, Natasha Romanoff, added. “I have ten bucks on them being oblivious until the end of time.”

 

“I have ten on them hating each other's guts,” Clint said.

 

Steve looked to Bruce questioningly. “I can't join, apparently being in the science wing counts as insider knowledge,” the man explained. “I do get front row seats to their bantering  _ and  _ student gossip, so I can’t complain.”

 

“And I already know,” Rhodes said cryptically. 

 

Steve looked hesitant. “Isn’t that a little… unprofessional?” he asked. 

 

Clint snorted. “Dude, even administration is in on the bet. I heard Principal Fury put twenty bucks on them already dating and just being little shits about it.” The new teacher still looked uncomfortable, so Clint changed the subject. “What did all of you think of the game last night?” 

 

Banner grimaced. “HYDRA slaughtered us, I cannot coach to save my life. Why did Coulson leave again?”

 

“Promotion,” Nat replied. “Rogers, you’re the new football coach, right?” Steve nodded. “You’d better be a better coach than Banner,” she warned. “We have not won a single game under him, and I hate losing.”

 

“I’m a biologist! I don’t know shit about sports!”

 

“Use one of your fancy PhD’s and learn, then! They beat us 70-14!”

 

“That’s only 10-2 if you simplify,” Banner said weakly. 

 

Steve smiled at the banter, feeling a burgeoning sense of belonging.

 

\-----

 

“Let the games begin!” Tony cried, sending his and Loki’s students into a flurry. It was their annual science bowl, students versus teachers. The students had two hours to make something combining their engineering and chemistry knowledge, while also working on teamwork and collaboration, to beat whatever the two teachers made.

 

Loki and Tony normally won, if only because they were both certified geniuses with more education than a highschool teacher needed. This year, they were making a flamethrower-slash-rocket launcher, combing Loki’s affinity for pyrotechnics with Tony’s love for things that went  _ boom _ . 

 

“Stark, roll up your goddamned sleeves before I light you on fire  _ on purpose _ ,” Loki said menacingly, reaching across the shorter man for some chemicals they needed. Loki was never a stickler for lab safety, if his habit of forgetting to tie back his long hair was any indication, but he didn’t like it when Tony got hurt.

 

“Aw, Reindeer Games, I’m touched that you care that much,” Tony replied, tinkering.

 

“I wear the antlers  _ one Christmas _ ! Nobody calls you pumpkin head, and you wear that godforsaken mask all October!” Loki threw up his hands, ignoring lab safety in favor of glaring at Tony.

 

The students liked the contest for a very different reason than the two teachers. There was a wager going around the student body, much like the one the faculty ran, on when they would get together (the two even had their own twitter ship page, allegedly run by Mr. Stark’s TA, Peter Parker, where students would post pictures and theories about their favorite power couple/ enemy duo). During the contest, the two teachers let their guards down around the kids, who used that information solely for evil. They were teenagers, after all. 

 

“What if we use those weird salt thingies to change the flame colors?” Tony said, knowing full well what those  _ salt thingies  _ were and feigning ignorance to piss off Loki. 

 

“That would be a good idea if literally anyone but you had it,” Loki snarked absently, already gathering the salts he needed. “Green and red?”

 

“You know it.”

 

They worked in silence for a while, until one of the student groups lit something on fire. 

 

“Back up!” Loki said authoritatively. “Stark,” he jerked his head at the group of kids. “Check for injuries while I put this out. If we hurry, we can beat the fire alarm.” Using one of the seventeen fire extinguishers spread between his and Tony’s rooms, Loki smother the fire in white foam. 

 

Once it was out, Loki leveled an unimpressed (but concerned) stare at the sheepish students.

 

“Sorry, Mr. L,” one said sheepishly. “We accidentally mixed the wrong things, and, well…”

 

Tony shrugged next to him. “Write it down,” he said. “and it won’t be an accident, it’ll be science!” Loki glared and Tony quailed. “I mean, observe proper fire safety rules and all that jazz.”

 

Bruce Banner popped his head in the door while Loki glared at Tony. 

 

“I smelled the smoke,” he said. “Is everything okay?”

 

“It’s science bowl, of course there’s smoke!” Tony cried excitedly. “Um, I mean, we are impressing the knowledge of lab safety on our younglings.”

 

“You’re not wearing goggles.”

 

“Eat a d-” Tony cut off when Loki elbowed him. “Donkey. I was going to say donkey. They’re very nutritious, you know?”

 

Loki smirked. “Thanks for checking in, Banner, we just had a group get a touch overexcited. No harm, no foul.”

 

“Thanks for checking in, though, Brucie!” Tony said affectionately. He didn’t catch Loki’s glare at the affection, but Bruce did. Bruce  _ really  _ wished he could make bets on their relationship at times like this; Loki was so obviously head over heels for the other man. 

 

Bruce left as the two descended into squabbling about lab safety, chuckling quietly to himself.

 

\-----

 

“I’m a fucking genius, Rogers, I don’t need you and your amateur engineering hobby telling me how to fix a car.” It was the evening after a long day, and Tony just wanted to go get a drink with Loki, but Loki’s piece of shit car broke down, and  _ of course  _ Rogers had to chime in with his opinion.

 

“Language,” Rogers said absently.

 

“Fuck off,” Tony shot back. There was nothing more condescending than being told to watch your language, as an  _ adult _ , by  _ another goddamned adult _ . Well, there probably was, but Tony couldn't think of an example at the moment. Not that it mattered, it was still condescending. “I know what I’m doing.”   
  
“Are you sure?” Steve prodded. “It looks like the fan belt is-”

 

“Steve, thank you for the help, but I believe we have this handled,” Loki drawled from where he was lounging against the car, cutting Steve off. “Tony is a halfway decent mechanic.”   
  
“Halfway decent?” Tony spluttered. “One of my PhDs is in mechanical engineering! Halfway decent, my ass.”

 

“And yet, my car is still broken,” Loki singsonged. 

 

Steve was getting serious whiplash from the pair. “Did you say  _ one  _ of your PhDs?” he asked curiously, sticking with the safe part of the conversation rather than getting involved in the banter.

 

“Yeah,” Tony replied. “I have like, five? Six? I don’t really know, honestly. I should, but I always forget what I actually took classes for and whatnot.”

 

Steve felt his mouth fall open, and he knew he was staring. 

 

“Don’t inflate his ego,” Loki said casually. “He’ll be insufferable if you get him going.”

 

“Well, fuck you too, Lokes.” Tony snarked back without heat. “See if I buy you a drink tonight. Speaking of,” he shut the hood of the car. “You’re all set. Let’s go, I’m driving.”

 

“Goodnight, Steve,” Loki said as he got into the passenger’s seat. 

 

As they drove away, Steve could hear them snarking back and forth (he had to admit, it was pretty coupley). He was starting to see the appeal of that bet…

 

\-----

 

Later that night, Loki and Tony were laying curled up in their bed in their shared apartment. 

 

“And did you see his  _ face _ ?” Tony was laughing about Rogers. “I’m pretty sure he thinks we’re dating, too.”

 

“Dear one, we  _ are  _ dating,” Loki chided gently.

 

“Yeah, but I was sure he was gonna join Clint with the whole  _ we hate each other  _ thing,” Tony snuggled in closer to his boyfriend. “We certainly don’t act like a couple in school.”

 

Loki kissed the top of Tony’s head. “I was under the impression that we were waiting for the right time for a dramatic reveal.”

 

“True, true, and we still need someone else to bet that we’re dating so fucking  _ Fury  _ doesn’t win the pot.”

 

Loki groaned. “I thought you and Fury got along now, after that last  _ incident _ ?”

 

“ _ Getting along  _ is too strong a term. I prefer to think that we’re just at a stalemate. He can’t fire me, and I can’t blow up his office.”

 

“That’s not a stalemate, dear, that’s just weird.”

 

“Whatever,” Tony muttered, closing his eyes. “I’m going to sleep, we have school tomorrow and I need at least five hours to deal with the tic tacs.”

 

Loki laughed softly. “Goodnight, love,” he said, shutting off the lamp next to them.

 

“Love you, jerk.”

 

“And I you.”

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always appreciated :)
> 
> what did you think? im planning to write more in this universe, is there anything/anyone you want to see? suggestions fuel my creative process
> 
> <3


End file.
